Coming Home to Myself: How The Skinni Société Became One of My Favorite Transformational Tools
✨A tiny note before we dive in: some links in this post are Amazon affiliate links. If you click and buy, I may earn a small commission — which basically goes toward funding my ever-growing TBR pile. I'd never recommend something I haven’t tried and loved myself. Now, on to the good stuff. ✨
For years, a pair of black velvet jeans hung inside my closet. I didn't buy them as a goal. I bought them because I saw them and something in me whispered, I need these. They just didn't fit. So they waited, soft and patient, the way some dreams do.
This year, I handed them to my wardrobe wizard, Jennifer O’Bannon, for The Christmas Witch movie. I thought they would be perfect on my character Morgan, and they were. They helped bring Morgan to life on screen in my first feature as a director.
And now? They're back in my closet. And they fit me.
That's the ending. Allow me to tell you how I got there.
Finding My Way to the Société
Sometime in late March or early April, I found Liv Schmidt on YouTube. I'll be honest: I lurked quietly for a while. I watched her videos, soaked in her perspective, and felt something unlock a little more each time.
In late June, I decided to join The Skinni Société. I started on July 1st, and it became one of the most life-changing decisions I've made. Not because of the weight (although we'll get there). Because of everything else, it gave me room to become.
Not the Fire Hose
I have tried so many things. Hot yoga. Pilates Reformer classes. I was a runner for years. I've done programs that left me sick, depleted, doing two-a-day workouts, and eating foods I didn't even like, all while doing far too much.
What Liv teaches is different. Start with your plate. Or start with your steps. Pick one thing. Build from there.
For a brain like mine, that changes everything. When too many instructions arrive at once, I freeze. When one gentle doorway opens at a time, I walk through it.
If you're a creative or a neurodivergent mind who has ever felt "bad at routines," please hear me: you may not be bad at routines. You may simply have been handed too many at once.
That's the core of Roll for You. In my Roll for Energy system, you spend your spell slots on what you can realistically handle today. The Skinni Société fit into that system like a key sliding into a lock.
What It Held While I Held Everything Else
Here's what my summer looked like in The Skinni Société:
I decluttered and re-organized my entire house.
I built new limits around my time and energy.
I worked on my marriage (15 years and counting, and I've learned it's always a beautiful work in progress).
I kept writing.
I traveled all over Arizona for Book-Signing events.
I prepared for the Show Low Film Festival.
I finished directing The Christmas Witch movie.
On paper, that sounds impossible. How could I add one more thing?
But The Skinni Société wasn't one more thing. It was the thing that kept me deeply grounded through all the other things. Because it was sustainable. Because it asked for small, steady choices instead of heroic sacrifice.
Glamorize Life, Not Food
One of my favorite philosophies from Liv is this:
glamorize life, not food.
Portioning isn't restriction. It isn't cutting away everything you love. It's focusing on what you actually want, and shifting your portions and perception so the foods you enjoy can still live in your life. Over time, the framework became so embodied that I barely think about it now. It's simply who I am.
📷 by Brien Faulkner
And because I can’t help but spread whimsy everywhere, I made it glitter. My electrolytes sparkle. My fiber sparkles. Why not?
In Roll for You, we call that spellcraft: taking a simple moment and enchanting it. A glass of sparkly electrolytes becomes a tiny potion, or… if you want, Whimsy Water. A new daily habit becomes a ritual you actually look forward to. Magic lives in the ordinary, if you let it.
Another Sisterhood for an Only Child
I grew up without siblings, so community has always mattered deeply to me. I'm an Alpha Delta Pi alumna, and I believe with my whole heart in women empowering women simply by being themselves.
The Skinni Societe feels like that. Every time I log in and see another woman's update, her meals, her skinni wins, I remember that I am not alone. Every adventurer needs a party that holds them up and holds them accountable. TSS is one of mine.
The Light I Had Been Hiding
When my son was born in 2012, the birth was traumatic for both of us. I was left with a scar, deep postpartum depression, and a careless comment about my body from another new mom that got under my skin for years.
I share that because I know how many of you carry your own version of this wounding. And I know the tiny voice in the back of your mind that speaks, even now, telling you that you shouldn't be taking this time for yourself. Mom guilt is real. It sneaks in during walks, workouts, and especially when we opt to set aside a moment for ourselves.
But here's what I've learned: my relationship with my son keeps getting better the more I care for myself. When I get my steps in, drink my water, and eat foods that actually fuel my engine, I have more room. More room to write. More room for him, for my husband, for my friends.
And somewhere along the way, I realized I had been hiding my light. Dimming myself so I'd take up less space, in rooms and in my own life. I've turned the light back on. (My master bedroom is now very pink. God bless my husband.)
What Changed
Since July 1st, I've lost more than 16 pounds and over 5% body fat. My jeans fit. I even wear shorts now.
But the part that makes me the most grateful is this: I've lived with chronic pain for a long time. Now it's either gone or quiet. It no longer interrupts my life the way that it did before.
I'm turning 40 next year, and I have never felt more at home in my body. Some mornings at school drop-off, I catch myself thinking, It's a good day to be me.
How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything
Liv often says it, and it has become my North Star: how you do anything is how you do everything.
What I practiced on my plate traveled everywhere. Portioning taught me pacing. Pacing taught me boundaries. Boundaries taught me how to direct a feature film without losing myself in it. The women in the Société say the same: a therapist who's become a better therapist, women in finance and medicine carrying these lessons into their work.
That's what a true questline does. It doesn't stay in one room of your life. It opens every door.
Where The Skinni Société Lives in My Roll for You Practice
If you're building your own adventurer's toolkit, here's how it fits into mine:
Roll for Energy: One small decision at a time, matched to my actual spell slots.
The Training Ground: My daily walks, framed as training for the character I'm becoming.
Side Quests: Plate, steps, water. Small, specific, and never overwhelming.
Spellcraft: Sparkly electrolytes and tiny rituals that make care feel like magic.
My Party: A sisterhood of women cheering one another on.
Your Invitation
You don't need to do all the things. You need one thing, done with love, again and again, until it becomes you.
If you're ready to build a self-care system that recognizes how your mind and body actually work, I'd love for you to begin your questline with Roll for You. And if you're looking for a wellness community to hold you accountable and walk beside you, The Skinni Société is where I found mine.
Here's to the jeans that wait for us, and the women we become while we grow into them.
Dalea Faulkner is an author, filmmaker, and multi-hyphenate creative living in the White Mountains of Arizona. Hashtag Blessed is streaming on multiple platforms, and the full Amberlight Valley trilogy is available now.
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